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Old 11-02-2012, 05:11 PM   #1011
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Originally Posted by saddlebag View Post
If Romney wins we'll need a comedy thread. Gotta have somethin to jive about while we shuck...
Sounds pretty racist.
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Old 11-02-2012, 06:47 PM   #1012
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Originally Posted by BBob View Post
This was just too good not to share here.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT- -

WRITTEN BY YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENT The person who wrote this is a college student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a our separation agreement:

--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.

--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.

--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

--We'll keep Bill O?Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely, John J. Wall Law Student and an American P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

Forward This Every Time You Get It ! Let's Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It Will Start Sinking In!!
+1 RIGHT ON BROTHER We'll gve them 25 Islamic states
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Old 11-02-2012, 06:57 PM   #1013
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Originally Posted by depot picker View Post
Sounds pretty racist.
It would be if we were talking about former slaves. But since all races will now be slaves to the elite, racism won't be an issue.

Who needs education, labor laws, or technology investment when we can have slave wages, unsafe working conditions, and the right to die when we get sick?
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Old 11-02-2012, 07:02 PM   #1014
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+1 RIGHT ON BROTHER We'll gve them 25 Islamic states
Conservatives can't ever come up with their own stuff.

Here's the original from several years back. Enjoy:

Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially
to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot
Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and
hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our
resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals than we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt
weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue States
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Old 11-02-2012, 08:31 PM   #1015
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I just found out the reason Powell endorsed Obama. It's cause he's black. O'Reilly said it so it must be true. That's pretty amazing considering Obama is only 1/8 black joke is on Powell
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Old 11-02-2012, 08:42 PM   #1016
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Originally Posted by saddlebag View Post
Who needs education, labor laws, or technology investment when we can have slave wages, unsafe working conditions, and the right to die when we get sick?
The more you talk the more idiotic you sound...

The liberal mantra, republicans are against education, equitable working conditions and safe workplaces, technology, and we want people who get sick to die...



There is a connection missing in the liberal brain... it's the part that connects the rest of us to reality.

Four more days.
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Old 11-02-2012, 08:49 PM   #1017
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I just found out the reason Powell endorsed Obama. It's cause he's black. O'Reilly said it so it must be true. That's pretty amazing considering Obama is only 1/8 black joke is on Powell
The one true thing this election will probably show, as we saw in 08', is that the most racist americans are black... 95% voting for Obama... it ISN'T because of his policies, it can't be, his policies have failed on every account, its his skin color.

As American whites become less and less concerned about race blacks become more and more racist... Martin Luther King would roll over in his grave seeing that after all this time it is the color of skin rather than the content of one's character that matters for 95% of black people.

I, and the VAST majority of conservatives, don't think twice about the color of the candidate, it's CHARACTER and core beliefs that matter most.
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Old 11-02-2012, 09:00 PM   #1018
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The liberal mantra, republicans are against education, equitable working conditions and safe workplaces, technology, and we want people who get sick to die...

I'm sure you believe in those things. You're just too cheap to pay for a gov't that has the ability to ensure they continue to exist.

You have no idea how this world operates. You live in a fantasy world where you are one Lance against the world and anyone trying to collect tax from you is a traitorous liberal, socialist blah blah blah.

My guess is you'd be the biggest bellyacher if you were ever caught up in a situation like that on our east coast.

You have no idea what the guy you plan to vote for has up his sleeve. If you really think he can lower your taxes 20%, increase defense workfare by $2 trillion a year and continue to maintain sufficient regulators and enforcement officials to maintain our high standard of living, you are delusional.

Sorry Lance, in this life you have to pay for stuff. Maybe next life you'll end up in a Marxist paradise...
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Old 11-02-2012, 09:21 PM   #1019
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Psst: SB: FEMA, Your big government, and even the Red Cross are failing miserably in this crisis.

It's Katrina all over again and this time you can't blame your buddy Bush. You only have your other buddy the oblamer this time.

To make it even worse; one of your huge ideologues (bloomberg) has kicked the New Yorker's under the bus so he can cater to the marathon runner's. All to make a few million bucks. Who knows how many billions of dollars of damage have been done by this superstorm but here come's the mayor of NYC saying New Yorkers are kicked to the curb so we can cater to a few marathon runners.

By the way; any marathon runner that shows up to displace those people who only have that room to live in right now can kiss my Lilly white butt.

In what universe does that make any sense? Do you too believe it's responsible to displace people who have lost everything from a motel/hotel room so an out of town runner has a place to stay over the weekend?

Really?

Liberals truly are the scum of the earth when the rubber meets the road. All hat; no cattle as they say in the Southwest...

I'm not even there and I'm so disgusted with the local government that, yes, is predominately liberal.

It's during times like this when we see the liberal's true colors.

Nuff said...
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Old 11-02-2012, 09:23 PM   #1020
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I'm sure you believe in those things. You're just too cheap to pay for a gov't that has the ability to ensure they continue to exist.

You have no idea how this world operates. You live in a fantasy world where you are one Lance against the world and anyone trying to collect tax from you is a traitorous liberal, socialist blah blah blah.

My guess is you'd be the biggest bellyacher if you were ever caught up in a situation like that on our east coast.

You have no idea what the guy you plan to vote for has up his sleeve. If you really think he can lower your taxes 20%, increase defense workfare by $2 trillion a year and continue to maintain sufficient regulators and enforcement officials to maintain our high standard of living, you are delusional.

Sorry Lance, in this life you have to pay for stuff. Maybe next life you'll end up in a Marxist paradise...
And in Obama's world it's more taxes, more taxes, more taxes, etc., his twisted vision to redistribute the wealth sees a MASSIVE fed. gov't that will never be satisfied... the end game is gov't taking everything beyond some 'you've got enough' cap... you can't be so foolish that you don't understand Obama's game IS a socialist agenda, and that system doesn't work... we don't need to change this country into something else...

I'm all for trying to return to THE LAW OF THE LAND, our Constitution, and those BASIC principles of the smallest possible fed. gov't, the least possible taxation to support it, and the most freedom for the individual... sort of simple... I know, it's an old document, it's time to toss it out... again, most of us want THIS country, not the one you liberals are trying to make it into.

P.S. A HUGE number of the poor that you are so eager to give other people's money to needs a kick in the ass more than their neighbor's hard-earned money. That's a reality you liberals can't seem to grasp.

Four days...

You'll have four years to see how a real leader leads, and it'll take a real leader to get us out of this BUSH mess that Obama made three times worse... (don't forget to blame Bush AND Obama for all the troubles Romney encounters during his term)
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