Who else catches Hell from the Mrs. for having a bike! - Victory Forums - Victory Motorcycle Forum
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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old 07-15-2012, 11:20 PM Thread Starter
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Default Who else catches Hell from the Mrs. for having a bike!

OMG, my wife is so jealous of me having a MC, that I am ready just to give up. I've had several. She doesn't want to play golf, sail, ride in a boat, go camping, ride a motorcyle......nothing. But I am accused of not giving her enough attention or wanting to spend time with her. I am 54, retired firefighter that worked a second job for 25 years to raise 4 girls, just to make ends meat. I dorve an old pickup forever, no a/c even and kept her in a nice ride. I also served a year in Iraq as a medic, she blew everything I made while there, on top of having a failed business that cost me $100K to avoid bankruptsy. Sorry, I am venting, but I am really fed up with the BS after 26 years of marriage. Now we are raising 2 grandkids that she thinks everybody else should take care of but her most of the time. Amy therapist here with some advice? My therapisst says I need a hobby, so mch for that. She won't listen to me or what my needs are it's all about her. I suffer from 2 forms of PTSD, one is obvious, the other is Post Traumatic Selfish Disorder.....I guess or at least I am made to feel that way. Ok, enough of the drama, maybe I can sleep an hour or 2 tonight, with meds!
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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old 07-15-2012, 11:24 PM Thread Starter
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Sorry, my post may need to be moved to the Lounge......Pissed off and wasn't paying attention.

Last edited by OIFvet; 07-15-2012 at 11:44 PM.
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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old 07-15-2012, 11:49 PM
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I may not be able to offer much insight, but try to combine your passion with hers. There are things she wants to do, like perhaps go out for dinner, or visit friends, or go to the opera, etc. Pick an activity she's very interested in, and offer to ride there. Pick something that's a very short ride, so it's an easier sell - you can move on to longer riders later on. If she still refuses, sweeten the deal - offer to do something you normally don't, but she wants you to.

One more tip: Try not to let her see you detailing the bike. Do this at all costs. She will not like the attention you're giving the bike, so do that when she's not around.

Hope it works out for you. I can tell you, weekend rides with my wife are awesome. She giggles and has as much fun as I do - she wasn't sold on motorcycles from day one, but a little patience went a long way. Good luck!

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Last edited by CrossRoads; 07-15-2012 at 11:52 PM.
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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old 07-16-2012, 05:46 AM
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Don't ask me...I just gave up the wife and kept the bike once I figured out the bike was a WHOLE lot nicer to ride.

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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old 07-16-2012, 06:57 AM
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I feel for you and your situation. It's all about balance. I agree with CrossRoads. Try including her interests with yours. Explain to her how theraputic riding is for you,and how it makes you feel. I am very lucky,my girl rides her own bike,and wants it that way. Maybe you could offer taking her to a rider safety course. She might just enjoy it enough to want her own bike. Just my 2cents. Good luck!

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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old 07-16-2012, 07:18 AM
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You need to speak with a professional. Lots of things that are bothering you are from the instant past. Sometimes a pro can find a way to get you to let go of those. Wish you the best

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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old 07-16-2012, 07:29 AM
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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old 07-16-2012, 08:12 AM
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Well, to answer the first question, no. She has her own motorcycle. The other portion? Well, you're 26 years in to what (at least from just this rant) seems like a crappy decision. And you just stuck with it even though this behavior doesn't seem to be anything new. Some are just slow learners. Best of luck, though.

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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old 07-16-2012, 08:30 AM
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So sorry about your unhappiness bro. But I think it's time for you to give her a big dose of stfu. I'm mean c'mon you busted your ass all your life to provide her and your family with every thing they need and still offer all the things that you guys could do together and have fun and she says no but then you have one hobby that makes you happy and keeps you sane and she is bitching about that?

I was married to a woman like that. More I tried to make her happy less happy she's got. More I gave up on the things that I do daily, like going to the gym or monthly like riding my mt bike for couple of hours out on the trails even once a month more things she wanted me to give up until I realized that I had nothing. She took everything and if I stayed with her I was going to lose my soul and become a zombie.

That's when I realized that I don't need to give what makes me happy to make her happy because after giving up what made me happy she still wasn't going to be happy. And that's when I gave her the boot.

And crossroads stop giving him pussy advice like don't clean your bike in front of her because she'll get jealous bs. He is not banging an other woman in front of her, he is just cleaning his bike.

Bro after 26 years it's time for you break that jar that she keeping your balls in and take them back from her. There are to many posts on this board about how " if mama ain't happy nobody happy" I mean what has mama done for you lately to make you happy? Let me guess...nothing. Hell when was the last time she gave you a blow job?

I know there is always two side to the story but owning a bike and going out to for ride once in a while with friends shouldn't be an issue between couples especially after 26 years of marriage. You worked all your life. You went through hell (Iraq and two jobs) you've earned that bike.

Now take that bike out on the drive way wash it up nicely and go for a long ride.

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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old 07-16-2012, 09:40 AM
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I can relate. I bought mine last year in the spring. She was in mexico at the time even though we had the disscussion several months before. I had a quad even the first day I bought it she was so mad she couldnt even talk to me. Then she was even more pissed when I sold it (apperently they found a common ground somewhere) The deal was I sell the quad to get the bike, so I did,We almost divorced several times over it and had very negative discussions but I definitley pick my times dont really wanna ride in the rain every odd once in a while ill take the bike to town and she will take the kids in the car.

I also bought her a new durango this spring maybee that helped soften the blow im not sure. For birthdays and Christmas all I wanted was stuff for the bike but I was scared it would start a big argument I didnt want or need so I kept my mouth shut. Shes pretty ok with it now I monitor the time I spend on it for sure Ive been trying harder with the kids and house work and it doesent seem so bad. In my experience time seems to heal all but you need to sit her down and discuss the issue. But be prepared for a conclusion / truth you may not like. Now she even asks how my ride is wich is really cool She said she would ride but she wants her own bike and I am perfectly fine with that, of course money grows on trees at my house (scarcazm by the way) and I really want to get her one .

She seemed to be more relaxed specially when we started watching sons of anarhcy. Dont think she ever saw herself as the motorcycle type. I honsestly thought I was'nt iethier, alot of my friends have then and hearing there stories I decided to give it a try. I am not a biker by any means Im simply a man with a motorcycle. Hope This helps and good luck whatever the case may be.

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Last edited by paullyo; 07-16-2012 at 09:44 AM.
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