Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: World Citizen = A peaceful and peacemaking individual, both in daily life and contacts with others
A man walking along a Cornish beach on holiday was deep in prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud: "Lord grant me one wish."
Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said:"Because you have been faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to the Isles of Scilly, so I can drive over anytime I want to."
The Lord said: "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the sea, the concrete and steel it would take.
I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said: "Lord, I have been married and divorced four times.
All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing' and how I can make a woman truly happy."
After a few minutes God said: "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&=&= one more joke ====
An elderly Italian gentleman who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession.
When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said "Father, during World War II,
a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighbourhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis.
So I hid her in my attic.
The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that.
"There is more to tell, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favours. This happened several times a week,
and sometimes twice on Sundays.
The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger
but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weaknesses of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry
for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.
"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question.
"And what is that?" asked the priest.
"Should I tell her the war is over...?''
JACKPOT 2013 orange MADNESS :-) *HOH-VM1-DR*TachoMeter*PowCom-5*AutoTune*ATS*TorTube & (IAC) & nitro*Swept exhaust*LYNDALL & EBC brakes Front & Rear*Stainless Beads*Fwd Contr 4" *2 x Bad Boy Air Horn*Seven Color Lizard*NGK plugs*Blue Spark Plug Wir*Victory Oil*KN Oil filter*Oil Analysis*Clutch Cover*Kickst Repl Rubb*Invisble-A-Key*L.E.D. Batt. Gauge*Pulsating Brake Light*VictoryHID*Lice Bracket OVAL*BoltKit-Chrome*
Cross Country Tour 2014 [B]