About 20 years ago I was working 3rd shift at an insurance company computer room and one of the guys talked me into going and looking at a set of pics in the claims dept.
A guy in a pickup truck had committed suicide with a shotgun pointed under his head. I'd never seen anything like that before and it shook me. I didn't let the other guy know it at the time. Of course the pics were graphic due to it being a claims investigation.
You do not mix drinking with things that go boom. You also don't allow the little man in your head to convince you that blowing your head off fixes everything.
Our death creates a chain reaction of ugly things whether it is on purpose or caused by pure stupidity. Lord! Let me die doing a good deed...