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Seabee can do
I was stopped by the police... last night on my bike, I wanted to try something that I figured would work but not sure ! Yeah... I already knew why he got me (i was speeding) but of course, I was gonna ask him why he stopped me. I didn’t want to throw any money away, so I decided to test my luck and humor. About a week ago, I purchased some fart spray and tried it on my dog, but wanted to see just how far I could push it. The bottle says to squirt about 2 sprays... well as the cop walks toward my bike, i spray about 5-7 squirts. he asks me to get off my bike. I yell, I can't. He immediately stops in his tracks and says well why not... and Lawd.. What's that?? I say.. I just pooped on myself, I was trying to get home . (the look on his face was one that says... You've got to be kidding me) anyways.. I told him , My stomach hurts..and there seems to be more, Im trying get home bcuz I.... (he is next to the bike now and I didnt even finish my sentence) He grabs his face, backs up and says... Omg.. u think u need an ambulance. I said no (trying not to laugh.. he looked worried and sick) I only live 2 miles away .
Cop: YES SIR BE CAREFUL AND TRY NOT TO SPEED BUT I UNDERSTAND ITS AWFUL. HOLD ON.. ILL ESCORT U!!!
Ya, I didn't expect it to go this way but the cop waited til I parked the bike (he stayed in his) so I had to walk all the way to my door with my butt cheeks clenched and limpn like I was hurt

Moral of the story: I DON'T HAVE 1.. but I'm going buy a case of that fart spray. No ticket written

If you read to the end I stole this status so share like I did everyone needs a good laugh
 

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Oh man....that'a a real gas! As we old timers used to say about something funny.
 

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Fantastic, it took me several attempts to read this to my wife because I was laughing so much.
 
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